These are actual conversations I've had with my father.

Now here's an actual conversation I had last week in an elevator:

Me: (IN AN ELEVATOR) Life in an eleva-tor, singin' a song while I'm goin' dooowwowwowwnnnnn-uh!

(An older man gets on. Maybe he's 70.)

Older man: Hello.

Me: Good afternoon

Older man: Is it? I guess it is.

Me: It is. And it's almost the weekend.

Older man: That's right! It is.

Me: Yep.

Older man: All right ... WICKED!

There are 70-year-old men who say "Wicked"? Do they have a life-time club? Do they thrash and get gnarly? Oh, how rad!
Did you like "Shawn of the Dead" but hate how the living and the zombies didn't get along?

Well, come see the two-man play, acted out here by The Male Part of the Lovely Couple and my friend Jared, "Shawn of the Dead Redux: The Smilinging". It's more hugs!
Premise BAD! Movie based on flawed assumptions of audience's reaction to original script! Movie fail!


Look! It's my very first professional business card!
And, yes, those black bars are really on the card.

I wanted people to know my name and my importance, but not how to get in touch with me.

That just leads to complications.


Here are my drawings from a game of Pictionary with my friend Jared.

As you can see, I am a horrible artist. That monkey? Dude didn't know it was a monkey until I wrote "monkey" next to it.

Technically, that's cheating in Pictionary.
So, that's why I prefer using Microsoft paint ...
And pumpkins.


How to use your free you're welcome card.

1) Receive a thank you card.
2) Print out your free card.
3 ) Fold it. You know how to fold it.

It's that easy.

Don't let others have the last word in generous deeds.
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