Last night, grocery shopping. Produce section.

I'm pushing my cart along, trying to figure out the difference between an English cucumber and a regular one. "Don't ask, you'll look stupid. Just assume they're all grown by men in little hats," I think.

All of a sudden!

There are these two small kids running around me. I'm dodging them. Then some kid barely big enough to push a cart is pushing a cart right towards me. I dodge right, she goes with me. I go left, she follows. All the while I still have these kids running perilously close to my ass area. So, I'm bobbing and weaving down below while up top I'm pushing a cart this way and that.

The whole situation is just out of control! Now is the time for action. Or the time to just yell out something completely inappropriate.

"Jesus CHRIST! It's the fucking Armageddon over here!"

The produce section becomes very quiet. R. Girl runs up and pushes me along as the kids have now decided to get away from the big guy screaming about the Armageddon.

"Man, did I say that loud?"

"What do you think? Everyone's looking at you now because you're screaming at children about the end of the world."

"You weren't there. Shit was getting rough for a minute."
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