I was at Old Navy (a.k.a. Retard Junction) today trying to find this pair of corduroys in my size.

Thing is I couldn't find them, 'cause it's all retarded.

So, I told this anorexic chicky that I needed her to look for a pair, you know, work for a living. I told her my size, then I told her to hurry up.

She comes back to me and says "I found them. I found them in the maternity section."

Now, I'm husky, but I'm not preggo fat. I took offense.

"Hey, you could have kept that last part to yourself. You know, like you keep the secret that you puke after lunch to yourself."

I stole the pants!
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