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5/06/2005


He was just trying to overcome his fear of technology ... by touching a microwave. It's just nuts!

Hey, hey, kids, have you read about this?

Yeah, guess what! That happened just up the road from where I used to live in Western North Carolina. And more, my mom actually worked for the station that broke the story. She was their chroma key operator (or maybe it was the telepromptor or the camera).

Let's see, a state senator in Columbia, SC (where I went to college) announces that women are asking for beatings and then a Baptist pastor in Waynesville, NC (near where I went to high school, hit puberty) says that Democrats must "repent" ....

Can anybody guess why I never joined a church? Any crazy theories on why I might have left The South?

But, to be fair, the Republicans in my new neck of the woods are up to their old gay hooey again. To paraphrase the old joke, all the good men are either married, gay or giving up their sex online to Republican leaders.

When are the non-psycho Republicans going to finish their post-November orgasm and say, "Wait a minute, my party has been overrun by hypocritical born-again backwoods crazies!"?

ALSO! Wackiest headline of the day!

"Sad Story Behind Girl's Decapitation"

Oh, you think? When is there ever going to be a good story behind a decapitation?

"A Seattle man was decapitated Monday. Authorities told his family not to worry, however, as the man had been having a great day of rollercoasters before the decapitation and after the cranium-losing incident his head went on to cure cancer."
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