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4/28/2005


If I was a director my trademark would be out-of-focus close up shots of astonished actors, followed by them turning into skeletons and then exploding.

Oscar Schindler: This ring. This ring! This could have gotten one more person.
(Zoom in on Oscar's face. Camera goes out of focus.)

(Cut back to reveal Oscar's skeleton. Explosion.)

The other day in my office ...

The delivery guy from Staples: Nice day out there.

Me: That's what I hear.

Staples: You know what it's like ... It's like in physics class when you learn that if you pour gasoline on your can of beer it gets colder quicker.

Me: O.K.

Staples: So, if you want cold beer, put your cans in gasoline.

Me: But, then you have gasoline on your beer.

Staples: What do you mean?


What do I mean? Man, you're the one who started this odd conversational tangent.

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