In my worst nightmares the head of Jeff Gannon/James Guckert follows me around laughing.
(That's the on-top-of-shoulders head, not the he-seriously-charged-people-200-dollars-an-hour-for kind)

"Manwhore journalist!" I scream.
A giant snowman slowly lowers my degree onto his tongue like a hit of acid. His eyes start to spin and he asks me to join him on "the ride of a lifetime".

In my greatest dreams I'm the best NASCAR driver ever.
"You just go in circles the fastest, right? I'm so going to win."

Violent Stick People
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