I used to buy this "butter" because I hoped one time, just once, it would be gold.

"Could it be butter? Not today, lucky boy, it's gold!"

Plus, I like it when the products I buy try to have a conversation with me.

"Is this butter?" asks the margarine.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I think it's margarine."

"What are you doing with your journalism degree eggs?" ask the eggs.

"Drawing stick figures. Talking to margarine."

(Last Panel Trivia: The word "fuck" has appeared three times in a V.S.P. cartoon, twice written into the name of a beverage and once in a giant explosion. It has never been "spoken".)

Violent Stick People
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