What am I doing today?
Training! Attending training?
Training someone to do my job.
How do you do my job?

8:00 a.m.- Get the paper.
8:30 a.m. - Take paper to other guy.
8:31 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. - I don't know ... you got a Gameboy or something?

But I was able to give my temp replacement a few pointers, like:

-The Planters peanuts in the vending machine taste funny. Like weird funny. I ate them once and almost puked them. Or maybe that was the "Sweet & Salty" Trail Mix. Don't eat either of those. Unless they are the non-Planters peanuts. Those are pretty good.

-The deli puts dill in their chicken salad sandwiches. That's going to be weird at first, but then you'll go, "Dill is the perfect flavor addition!".

-If Mole comes in and starts talking about how much he likes Natalie Portman and wants to bang her, just nod and say "I left the paper at the other guys!" and then walk away. He will stand in the same spot and continue to talk to you about the "sweet, Star Wars royal lovin'" that he wants to make ... but he will eventually stop.

-Wig Wolf will want to tell you about her broken foot. Hold a mirror up to her and watch her turn to stone!

-When drawing stick figures it is important to remember that a circle for a head means that character is a human. A square means they are a robot.

And why am I training a temporary replacement?
Because my Mom is coming to visit tomorrow! Hip-mamma-hooray!
So, 'til Ma is gone and it's safe to talk about boobs and dyke ninjas again, later dorks!
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