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7/02/2004

I have tried in the past 18 months since leaving the drunken comforter of college to use Monster.com to my full advantage.
Monster has sent me links to many exciting non-me career opportunities, including: Soldier, Welder, Pet Technician, President of Mobil Oil, Boat Welder and, of course, Carpet Welder.

Oh, Monster, truly today's the day for you to show me what I need!

Kyle, my brother and computer Khan at Microsoft, received an e-mail from Monster Networking ("Today's the day for you to meet welders in your area!")
"We've got someone we'd like you to meet!"
Who? Who?
Why, Robert G., of course.

Who is Robert G.? Just ask him!
"60some writer, marketing/sales/PR person, fit and curious. I am in love with an Asian woman whose pop name is Emma."

This is the kind of guy with a hottub any Microsoft programer should know right?
Read on, dorks!

Robert G.'s Skills?
"written/verbal communications, marketing/sales, le (Expert) writer, philosopher (Beginner)"
He's a beginner philosopher, "I think, therefore I ... um, need to go hottubbin'!"
Also, he's a beginer AND an expert at writing!
Very zen, Robert.
He and Emma must discuss the inability to ever become an expert writer ,and as such, all one can really hope to achieve is a continued rebirth of the creative spirit.

Robert G.'s Interests?
Hold on to your universe dorks!
"music, books, biking, hiking, mountains, beaches, good & straight sex, cuddling, sunsets"

....... what?

Oh, I see, Monster, the reason Microsoft has been having major security problems over the past year is because of lack of cuddling! Of course, they aren't enjoying sunsets or "good & straight"-yet-curious sex!
Today's the day that Monster saves the world again, making it better for underemployed journalism majors, highly paid Microsoft engineers, Robert G. and of course the great American hero ... the welder!
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