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7/09/2004

Cashier Woman: "What's this?"
Stupid Man: "That's a tomatilo."
Cashier Woman:"No way!"
Stupid Man: "Yes. I should know what a tomatilo is, I'm from the South."
Cashier Woman: "You better not be fooling me, I don't give you boys any special treatment at the fire house."

Top Ten Things I Should Have Said to The Chatty Rubberheads In Front of Me at The Grocery Store Delaying My Weekend Camping Trip:

10.) "Hey! Buy one 'shut' get one 'the fuck up!' free."

9.) "Hey! Can we get a price check on Bald Fuck and Chatty Skank?"

8.) "Hey! This week's special is life at an acceptable pace!"

7.) "Hey! Fuck up on ailse Bald Ass."

6.) "Hey! Would you like some help out with ... these fists?"

5.) "Hey! It's paper or plastic; not paper, plastic or babble."

4.) "Hey! Would you like to sample some mouth closing?"

3.) "Hey! I must slay you and have revenge for my father's blood." (Just to keep them on their toes)

2.) "Hey! Your chat has angered me! I shall summon your lord the Great Shift Manager to smite you!"

1.) "Hey! This line is 10 spoken words or less."

Weekend, dorks, I'm going camping.
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