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6/14/2004

Monday!
Me: Hello, Mole. Did you have a nice weekend?
Mole: Nope, never really do much of anything ...
Me: Oh.
Mole: ... well, did some laundry ..
Me: Yep, fun (Moving away)
Mole: ... and grocery shopping ...
Me: Important
Mole: ... and of course I rejoiced to see the Lakers lose. I HATE them ... so much.

When Mole says this his wrinkles become wrinklier and his brow furrows and his face forms into one that man has historically used to say "Ghengis Khan stabbed my dog" and "Those Nazis!".
Why has the Baby Boomer generation become an increasingly angry group?
You see, dorks, first they were stupid hippies and they got hit a lot (actually, first they were neglected of paternal love due to the harsh traditions of non-emotional parent/child relationships their parents were used to), then they were stupid corporate raiders and they lost their souls and now their lives are filled with books like "Men are from Mars and Need to Not Be Stupid" and they cream their jeans when Hillary Duff makes believe that their world exists in it's pretty white universe that is .... lost myself there for a minute.
So, they yell!
"I HATE red lights."
"I HATE David Letterman."
"I HATE Wendy's new salads."
They used to be mad at their fathers, now they're mad at Shaq.

Moving on.
So, I got R. Girl a bracelet for her birthday. Turns out I got it a little small. No problem, right?
Wrong!

Every Jeweler in Town: Yes are you going to need new O Loops or new eye pins?
Me: What?
Every Jeweler in Town: Do you know the Quick ratio?
Me: Um, I have a bracelet.

There's something about haircutters and jewelers that makes them think they can speak thier lingo and I'll just catch on.

Every Haircutter Ever: Do you want a fade or a crosssnatch?
Me: I want to look like I got a haircut.
Every Haircutter Ever: For next time remember your gaurd length is 5.
Me: NO!

Want some fries to go with your irony?
So, I went out with the L.C. yesterday to do some B-Day shopping for R.G.
We dec. to gr. some L. (wait, I can't abbreviate everything) so we went to this place for burgers.
One of the burgers was named the "Communication Breakdown Burger" and I ordered out of Zeppelin Loyalty.
Guess what?
The cook read the ticket wrong and forgot to make the burger.
Get it?
There was a "Communication Breakdown" and that was the name of the burger.
Get it now? Yes? Hahahahahahahaha! The whole place was rolling when I thanked the waitress for the "Irony Burger", which was on the house.
Free Burgers = Perfect Weekend, dorks.
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