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6/08/2004

I return to the rubberhead factory today after stomach flu yesterday.
"I had that a couple of weeks ago," says WigWolf, "It gave me ... the runs."
Hell Spawn! I vomit more!
I avoid using words like 'vomit' 'diarrhea' 'puke' 'the runs' 'Reagan' and 'vinyl' when talking out loud.
Be like me, rubberheads!

I fell into a bit of a coma this weekend and when I come out ...
Reagan's dead. Hm.
Bush has got himself some lawyers lined up. Hmm.
This quote came out: "This administration rejects torture." Hmmm.
But then they talk about The Torture Act. Hmmmm.

I am once again going to explain current Washington politics to you dorks by using fast food examples ... namely hamburgers equal torture.

"Mr. President, some of our troops are eating hamburgers," said John Ashcroft.
"Hamburgers? Are we against that?" ased Bush Jr.
"We should be. Let's make a Hamburger Act outlining when it is right for us to eat hamburgers, when to eat them and how high the ketchup to mustard ratio should be (1:2) and then we'll say we are against Hamburgers," said John Ashcroft.
"Does that mean we are going to stop eating hamburgers?" ased Lil' Bush.
"Hell no. But if anyone asks we aren't responsible for the Hamburger Act. Just the Yippee Jesus Act and the Boo Homos Act .. all other acts are mysteries," said Ashy-Washy.
"I'm confused," said Bushbo.
"It works! Bush White House Mumble works again!" said Assfingerer.
"I like pickles," said Bushy Boy gleefully.
"We know you do, kiddo," said Ashcroft.

Oh, it's so silly. Silly, dorks.

From cnn.com ("Worldwide leader in sucking White House balls")
MTV plans to edit out a shot of (Eminem) exposing his rear end to the audience at the 2004 Movie Awards when the show is broadcast Thursday.

My name is what, my name is who, my name is what, chicka-chicka Slim Played Out.
If I want sexism, violence, racial stereotypes and homophobia I'll just listen to a White House Press Conference instead of the guy who TRIED TO BEAT UP TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG!

That's it! I'm moving to Mars, dorks.
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