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5/06/2004

There's Superman, Flash, Batman and Robin
WonderWoman will always leave your heart throbbin'
But have I got a real hero for 'ya.
He's Nail Gun man ... Isidro Mejia
Nail Gun man fell from a roof
Nail Gun man ain't bullet proof
Or nail proof to be honest with you
Because sure as hell those nails got through.
Six in his head when all's said and done.
Now falling from a roof ain't all that fun.
But hitting your buddy on the way down
and having him shoot nails into your crown
Well, that's injury to injury if I ain't wrong.
Nail Gun man, you need a song!

Nail Gun Man, Nail Gun Man
Fell off a roof, that wasn't his plan
He got shot up with six nails
And then passed out before he could wail
...
Oh wherever there's a nail gun
We're sure to have some good fun
'Cause he's the Nail Gun Man!

(by the way, if you don't know what I'm talking about, read up on news, fool dorks ... or just look at my new "wicked" link)
Morning, dorks. I hope you are all reading well.
So, did you all have a nice little Cinco de Dorko? I did, I made nachos for me and R. Amigo and then went to bed at 9:00. Why? Because I like nachos and I was tired.
Other things happening? I don't know, maybe. This has been passive week for me. I'm totally phoning this one in.

"Brent, we have a bit of a concern about ..."
"Do I want a cream cheese bagel or an egg and bacon bagel?"
"Um, what? We are concerned about ..."
"Yep, decisions are hard sometimes."
"Will you ..."
"Hold on, start from the begining."
"We have a bit of a concern ..."
"No, from the begining of time! Act out Genesis for me!"

We had pot roast and a walk with the Lovely Couple the other lovely night. That was nice, thems peoples can cook. Shoooo-eee I tells ya, and they sho got tables manners! I was slopping up like a hog in Heaven, but theys all "Use the fork and use the knife/That way dinner's extra nice."
Earlier that day R. Sandy brought me Subway for lunch and we had a picnic at a park. Then we fed ducks.
That was a good day. Well, except I rented "The Matrix Revo-suckcocks" (which lived up to it's name).

12:30 a.m.
Me: (crawling into bed) Goodnight.
R. Slumber: MMMM-was your movie good.
Me: No, it was horrible.

4:30 a.m.
Me: (waking up startled) What? What's going on?
R. Slumber: You O.K.
Me: I'm just having a Matrix dream.
R. Yah: I thought you said it was a horrible movie.
Me: Yep, and it's a horrible dream too.

Want another Wig Wolf e-mail? Will that shut you up? Dammit! Here!

Brent,
Per requests made by the (Stupid) Team.

In the future when delivering paper, please move the boxes under the counter. They are complaining that the aisle is narrow as it is and is difficult to walk through when the paper boxes are left partially out in the aisle. Please push the boxes under the counter, which will allow the staff to walk down the aisle without the risk of an accident.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation and assistance in making our printer area, a safe work environment.
Thank you,
WigWolf

Wig Woooooooooooooooooooooooooolf! This has nothing to do with my job! She is so bored and fat and ranibowey that she must spread her venom before she dies, before Satan calls her back! I know that doesn't make much sense, dorks, but neither does she.
Here's a template for a WigWolf e-mail.

(Put persons name here),
Please (do something that you don't ever need to). This is because (put down some invalid excuse). Please (repeat your request again, people are too dumb to remember things after reading two sentences).

You may also (With this paragraph, feel free to really let your insanity show. Talk about other people, office supplies or your father. Just go with the first thought you have and really run with it.)

I thank you in advance for (doing what you don't need to and probably won't
do). I must now return to my master, The Dark Prince of Fear and Murder.
Thank you,
WigWolf


"Hi, I'm Charles Manson, do you want to go get Ice Cream?"
"Hi, I'm WigWolf. No, let's kill people instead."
"Yes, lots of people."
"And carve swastikas into our skull."
"Yes, WigWolf, yes!"

Later, dorks. Disney sucks cock!
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