|

5/17/2004

Howdy! Are you smirksome, dork? Then let's go!
I had me a weekend full of nothing. An empty weekend. I bought groceries and then said to myself, "Yep, that oughta 'bout do it for this weekend."
And it did.

Wig Wolf's best friend, Man Face, quit today.
I swear I heard a howl in the distance.
Wig Wolf was sad today. I found her in the lunch room eating only 2 newborn kittens for a snack instead of her regular 35.
"Oh, WigWolf, are you sad."
"Yes, and the strength fresh kitten meat usually gives me is fleeting today. It hurts right here."
"Your heart?"
"For you mortal hu-mans it would be a heart, but for me, a child of The Fearsome Lord FireDeath, it is a steaming lump of Hell coal."
"I know what it's like to have a broken heart, WigWolf."
"Steaming lump of Hell coal."
"Right."

I'm just joshing, dorks. I haven't seen WigWolf in almost a week. I'll relate to you the way I did to Kyle me and WigWolf's last meeting.
"Maybe we should have the authority to (do what it is you do)."
"Are you saying you think my job shouldn't exist?"
"No, no, no .... I'm just."
(At this point I stop talking to her and walk into a supplies closet at the back of my office and hide in a corner until she is gone.)

Maybe my job shouldn't exist, but it's my job! That works! If I don't have my job then you dorks are un-American! Hmmm?
New paragraph.
I went over to the Lovely Couples for lunch today. Jack made fancy pizzas.
Pizza #1: Yummy dough, cripsed potatoes, some wine sauce, chicken, angel smiles and puppy souls.
Pizza #2: Wheat dough, dijon sauce, carmalized onions, chicken, spinach, Heaven rain drops.

They were good.
Over lunch the L.C. reminded me of a show I want to produce. It's called "Beauties and the Beast". The premise is that 5 or so women go and get makeovers like on "The Swan". EXCEPT one girl gets a fucked up makeover. They make her look like a monster with scales and horns and bugeyes and a hook coming out of her head. The girls have to stay bandaged up for months and are finally allowed to see themselves.
That would be the most awesome show ever in the history of the world. Could you just imagine some really fucked up looking girl with hunchback and blue skin and one of those robotic throat boxes. That would be awesome!!!!!!!! And she'd have to have two mouths and a pig nose! Hahahahahahahaha, the humor!
I had lunch with the L.C. because they are going to Atlanta tomorrow. So, me and R. Wonderful are going to house/dog sit while they are gone. Mixed peanuts jar here I come!

And hey! Way to go on getting Bushes approval rating down, dorks! I knew you had it in you! What else you got in there? Any porn?
I paid $2.35 for a gallon of gas on Friday.
Keep up the good "Bush-bashing" work, Demodorks and Intelligent Republicans!

I need to go swimming or play frisbee golf after work today. I have been sucked into my XBox and feel like a fatty due to lack of anything physical the past few days.
I take a few steps and it's nap time!
Look out supplies closet here I come!
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com