|

5/24/2004

Good afternoon, dorks. It's such a nice day in Seattle that I feel I should be running through a sprinkler or making out in a corn field.
Instead I have to have inane office conversations, which I am no good at, by the way.
There is something in-born in every beurodork and republican that allows them to chat mindlessly about things that I have never and will never care about.
Example?
Example away!
The following is word-for-word ver-fucking-batim a conversation I had today.

"Hey, how's it going, Person?"
"Hi, Brent. Well, it's going."
"Well, that's a good way for it to ... move."

I sound like a gooddamned mentally exploded caveman when I try to small talk.

"Sure can't wait for Friday to get here."
"Me either."
"Weekend never seems to get here fast enough."
"Hmmm, racecars go fast though."
"Yes they do, Brent"
"Yep, Person."

R. Baby and I went to a wedding this past weekend. Which wedding? Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, dorks.
(A rubberhead just walked into my office and threw trash into my garbage can without even talking to me. Rude? Nope, Rubberheadish. Word of my exploded caveman brain must be spreading.)
Back to the wedding. R. Extra's review of the said wedding? "Borderline white trash".
Indeed, dimple angels, indeed indeed.
I wore a suit, no tie and was worried that I would be under dressed. I wasn't thanks to "These my Sunday denims" Guy and "T'aint No One Telling Me My Kid Can't Wear His Barney T-Shirt" Woman.
More specifics?
A conversation related to me that R. Girl had with the bride's mother.

R. Girl: Hi, Mother Person, remember me?

Mother: Wait, don't tell me ... are you with the groom's side or the bride's side.

R.: The bride's side.

Mother: Hmm, then who are you representing?

R.: Um ... your daughter.

Mother: Oh, you're R. Girl!

The woman forgot if her daughter was the groom or the bride!

I once forgot what Fruit Loops tasted like. I was drunk.
I was also drunk at the wedding.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee ... people I don't know AND free beer? Recipe for disaster! A disaster lasagna in the making!"
But I was ordered to be on my best behavior.
"Don't be dumb," R. Bossy ordered.
I listened. Stupid society and your rules.
We left early because R. Throaty's throat got re-sore thanks to the tonsilectamony-mony. R. Baby's throat saves me again!
Hip-hip-hooray!

And now's the time we say goodbye
But frown no not and please don't cry.
And tonight, dork, when you watch T.V.
And see a message from the G.O.P.
Via your prez (that's good ol' George)
Remember it's O.K. to yawn and be bored.
And if you see through all the hype,
The Season Finale of "The Swan" is on Fox tonight.

Fight the powers that be, dorks!


Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com