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5/20/2004

From CNN.com:
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Iraqi Governing Council member Ahmed Chalabi said a raid on his compound Thursday was engineered by Baathists who control the Iraqi police and who are now protected by the Coalition Provisional Authority.

Arrrrggghh, dorks, Arrrggggh!
Why the hell are the Baathists raiding anything in Iraq, dorks? Who are the Baathists, you say? READ! READ! Oh, they're just this little group that used to be headed up by a guy named Sadaam Fucking Hussein.

What the hell is going on over there?
We invade Iraq and declare Sadaams loyalists to be our enemies. Why? Because they weren't behind 9/11 and they don't have WMDs. That good enough for you, you un-American prickhole? Buy a flag and shut up!
O.K., so we aren't attacking Iraq, we are attacking it's "evil" government.
Then we kill some babies and bomb a wedding. (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040519/D82LPPNO0.html)
Don't worry, it was a gay Iraqi baby wedding. Ain't noone alive to bomb the SuperBowl.
Now we are supporting raids by SADAAM HUSSEIN'S FORMER MILITANT PARTY? These are the people who would shoot you if you couldn't guess how many fingers were behind their backs!
I know a guy who knows a guy who's sister's husband was a Baathist and you know what? Horns. He had horns.
Who the hell are we fighting over there?
We have seriously run out of kids to kill and people to force into homoerotic poses. We have actually sided WITH OUR ENEMY TO TAKE ON ... um, people who don't believe in naked Iraqi pyramids ... I mean Democracy.

But, don't worry, because I know what's going on in Iraq.
A monkey with some dice is running the war.
Crazy? Yes. True? Yes.
Think about it, dorks.
Only a monkey with some dice could come up with a plan to invade the wrong country, kill children, bomb weddings and then a year later support our enemy to fight .... our enemy?
"What's it going to be today General Bongles?"
"Ooh-Aaaaaaaaaah, Uh, Uh, Uh."
"That's it, men, General Bongles has rolled an 11. That means all-out nuclear war against Spain and bananna splits for all of us."

When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best bananna split, you'll know what to do.

I had a nice day off, dorks. I tended to R. Sickly post-tonsilictamoyoney67yey. That meant pudding and oxycontin. For her we had ... hahahahahaha, just kidding, dorks.
I laid around and watched movies and ate sandwiches. I like getting paid for someone else being sick. It's a sick day without all the sickness!
"Can you please ..."
"Sorry, R. Baby is sick and by dating default I'm as useless as her."
"Would you like to ..."
"...watch T.V. and not do anything? Yes. Anything else? No!"

And what did I return to? WigWolf mayhem? No, this time it was "Crumble Cheeks" (aka "What's a folder" Lady)

_____________________________________________
From: Crumble Cheeks
Subject: Training Boxes///
Importance: High

(Brent) delivered boxes to the attention of (people) to me 1st floor Training Room.

Thank you,
Crumble Cheeks

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From: (Beaver)
Subject: RE: Training Boxes///

Brent - Can you please bring them to the 1st floor training room?
Thanks

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From: Crumble Cheeks
Subject: RE: Training Boxes///

They're already there, Beaver!!!!

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From: Beaver
To: Crumble Cheeks
Subject: RE: Training Boxes///

I've been down here all morning and I don't see them

______

From: Crumble Cheeks
To: Kinkade, Brent; Beaver
Subject: RE: Training Boxes///

did you place them in the lobby area, Brent?

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From: Kinkade, Brent
To: Crumble Cheeks
Subject: RE: Training Boxes///

Beaver called me.
When you said "training center" I thought you meant the literal training center.
Beaver has the boxes now.

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From: Crumble Cheeks
Subject: RE: Training Boxes////

what do you mean by that?
(end of e-mails)

What do I mean by "I thought you literally meant to put the boxes in the place you said to put the boxes in instead of the place you were thinking of in your rubber head. Slower? YOU SAID "TRAINING CENTER" AND MEANT "LOBBY"." or "Beaver has the boxes now."?
Yippee, rubberheads! I can always count on you to turn a simple situation ("Hey where's that box?") into a 17-alarm fire ("The box is full of Anthrax!" "No, it's not" "It's not a box?" "No, full of anthrax." "A box full of anthrax! What do you mean by that?").

Bye, dorks. Please, please, please someone find me a decent job in Seattle!





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