|

4/28/2004

Wednesday to you, dorks.
It's quiet in the halls of the place that gives me money for porn. Maybe the soccer moms are planning an attack.
Battlestations!
A lady stopped me in the hall today, "Just so you know, my 22-year-old daughter fell off my scooter."
"Oh yeah? I once rode a bike off of a cliff and smacked my nuts on the handle bar when I landed. So, who wins the stupid story contest, lady?"
Actually, I just filed her babble-dabble under "Useless Stranger/Daughter Scooter Related Injuries" in my brain and went on my way.
Not much of words back from place me want work. Send e-smokesignals today as requested by chief, short word back thanking for pow-wow. Not respond again, young brave not want seem pushy.

Brent, did you yell at a foreign person or a retarded person last night?
Both.
I went to buy some beers at a gas station. This chick in front of me accidently dropped a bottle of girly smirnoff drink.
"I will pay for it," she said.
"What happens, man?" said the unruly store clerk.
Mumble, grumble, bumble (stopped paying attention for a few seconds because I noticed even NEWER flavors of Doritos!)
Then...
"You don't have to call me stupid!" said the girl.
"What happens, man?"said clerk ass again.
"Your boyfriend got the gas, outside the pump, go him," said retard.
Girl walks out followed by clerk and jerk. They seem to all have a little talk in the parking lot.
When they come back in I decide that the place is too weird and put the beer back.
"Sir, I help you!"
"You guys are weird, I'm leaving."
So, I get to the car and R. Waiting asks me "What the hell was going on in there?"
I explain, she tells me that the guys were yelling at the girl in the parking lot while her boyfriend just sat there.
"Hmmm," I thought, "I must really have been into those Doritos, because I missed all of that."
Then I said, "Not while Batman is around!"
"What?" said R. Huh.
So, I marched back into the store and looked the clerk right in the eyes.
"It's rude to yell at women," I let him know.
Then I looked at old redneck retard.
"Rude!"
Then I left. I am America's Boyfriend.
Later, dorks, it's time for naps!
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com