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4/30/2004

Morning, dork nipples.
First off, look at my links to your right. Your right, dorknuts! That's your foot! Up, up, that's a bird! Why are you outside with a computer! Cave dork!
There you go. That political cartoon there is exactly like the joke I made at the begining of the week! Dorks Don't Rock is so cutting edge I just cut my fucking finger off! In fact, we're so razor sharp, suicide paitients aren't allowed to be near me without suppervision.
(It's now time for Brent Has a REALLY Good Idea and Then Runs It Into the Ground So Only He Finds It Amusing.)
In fact, I'm so razorrific sharp edge shittful that I'm changing my name to Mach Brent 3 or even better, just call me Quatro.
Yep, Quatro, that's my new name.
"Hey, hey, Quatro, new Adidas, eh?"
"Quatro is so hot I want to buy him chocolate milk!"
"If Quatro was a dinosaur he'd have been a StegoQuatro Rex and he'd get all the dinosaur chicks and all the dinosaur gold."
Join us next time when Brent thinks of a good idea for a Halloween costume.
"A Lazer Ape!"
This weekend R. Butt and I are going to house sit for this lady with a lot of cats.
The house is very Old Lonely Lady and therefore not much fun, unless maybe she has painkillers or those nitro pills ....
Focus, don't reveal your desire for old people pills, you just did, shit, think of cover up, go with something like
So, R. Franklin and I had a great idea. When we get home from work this afternoon (that's get home respectively, dorks, I don't do office romance ayight?) we are directly changing into pajamas! I'm taking one t-shirt and one pair of boxers and that's it for the entire weekend. I might even skip out on brushing, but that would not be good for my junks life so I will.
And don't forget to score old lady pills.
But not the estrogen ones again, O.K.? Last time I cried for a week.
But your skin was softer and you did appreciate pink a lot more.
And I finally understood "Dirty Dancing".
Nobody
Puts
Brent
In
A
Corner
I'm typing to myself.

Now they won't even say the dead troops names on some news stations?
Who do you think is dying in this war, dorkneck dick lickers? Last time I checked it's almost 800 dead PEOPLE, not dolls. Girls play with dolls, people die in battles.
"We Support Our What's-Their-Names."

Last night I had a horrible nightmare. It started out with me watching the nightly news (Source:the position I'm up for, watching "The Daily Show" before bed).
"That hummingbird in your backyard might not be a hummingbird after all..."
"Shit."
"It could actually be a flying snake-like creature that is nature's most deadly weapon."
"Double Shit"
So, I look outside and I notice an old woman sunbathing (an old home video from my childhood).
Back on the T.V. ...
"This unsuspecting woman thought the thousands of hummingbirds that had gathered in her backyard were awesome, until they attacked her."
The flying snake birds (from yesterday's news story about the snakefish on the East Coast) attack the woman.
"One bite from the birds is lethal. Victims first show signs of the flu and then die within days. (zombie movies)"
"I can't let them kill that woman! (Boy Scouts)"
So I run outside and start attacking the snake-birds. But once you attack one you attack them all (Playing Halo on XBox). I was fighting off a thousand of them (Kill Bill), but they wouldn't die easily. I had to crush then with objects lying around my yard AND avoid their jaws of venom (Wig Wolf)! It was hard (porn).
I had them down to the last two who I trapped in my dojo. That's right, I had a dojo (Enter the Dragon).
I was flipping and swinging and they were snapping and biting and I trapped one under a pillow. I stepped on him and his venom sac exploded on my face.
"I've been infected. (28 Days Later)"
The last snake-bird was laughing at me.
"A fool you were to risk your life for the old lady's."
"A fool you were to be born." (Splinter in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles": Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be
[Shredder falls from the building and lands in the back of a garbage truck]
... Without honor. )
Then I crushed him.
I started to get sick and then ....
woke up and peed (water, PBR). That's it.
Weekend, dorks.

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