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2/10/2004

Dorkensteins! I just had my mind tripped like the clown/bourbon warp on Saturday. I went to Google.com and typed in "dorks don't rock" (in quotation marks) to see what comes up... why, instead of working? Because my ego is grander than any one thing else EVER!
Anyways, the third find is this german website that lists "german language blogs" and has a link to mine. Das es vat? Weird? Not so much yet. I translated the page to English all Sherlock Holmes styley ... AND! .... Dorks Don't Rock in English to German to English translation is Dorks Don't SKIRT!
Maybe skirts DO Rock (skirt=rock).
Examples from history:
1.)Catholic school girls wear skirts. Rumble my rocks.
2.)AC/DC rocked in a skirt (One day after writing this it has hit me that none of the members of AC/DC wore a skirt. It was short shorts, which are very close to skirts on the efiminate scale, that I was thinking of. But, I've thought of another example ... Rowdy Roddy Piper. I feel like such an idiot for messing up an AC/DC reference. Hellls bells.).
3.)Those Scotish caber tossers wear skirts. Sorry, kilts, me brethren. And while we are at it, can't we just say skirt instead of kilt. Hasn't a drunk man throwing a log really far and a drunk man wailing on the axe (turnbuckle) justified the skirt? I mean, I know that they are traditionally called kilts, but my grandpa traditionally wore "britches" but I don't get all big-cocked when someone says, "Nice pants, Brent."
"What? These are brithces, queerbo, only ladies wear pants. Maybe I need to punch you a new zip code."
"What?"
So, you see my point.
What was I talking about?
Well, while my A.D.D. catches up with me, this reminds me of something else. I really value R. Girl more every day for many reasons, but one is that she remembers all those things I forget (90% of the world). Lots of times she'll say something funny and I'll laugh and I'll ask her what she's talking about and she'll go "Remember when you said that when that thing happened". Or I'll go, "Do you use doors or windows to leave and enter buildings?" and she'll say "Doors" and I'll go "The Doors are a band, not a portal" ...
Oh yeah, the German website. Weird, huh? I'm pretty honored that somewhere a German kid might be reading this. Maybe I should pass on some knowledge that I've learned from watching Schindler's List and eating Bratwurst. Why not, it's a free country, unlike Germany. So....
Dorks Don't Rock presents Brent's Advice to Germans Reading This ...
Hi, there, I heard you're German. You're very handsome or pretty or ugly, did you know that? I bet you did. I bet you hear how handsome, pretty or ugly you are all the time down at the old Bierhaus. You know you should really be careful how much you drink, your countrymen aren't known for their steadfast tempers. Oh, I know you are different, I know. It's just that you might want to know that the rest of the world thinks you are probably a Nazi. What? I don't make the rules, I just live by them. Now, come on. Let's see a smile. You do make good cars and Ramstein was fun for a few songs. There you go, that's my Hansel or Gretel. Now, you go show the world how not a Nazi you are with you little sausages and warm beers.
Well, dorks, on that diplomatic note I do think I am going to go do something else which doesn't involve talking to Germans.
Oh, before I go, is it just me or is Howard Dean becoming that dude that couldn't stop going back to his high school after he graduated.
"Come on, dudes, we'll get some beers and totally vote for me."
"Um, maybe later, Howard, we have lots of homework to do."
Yeah, I know, he was my boy, but now he's just another dork like you.


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