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9/05/2003

On those nights where you are all alone because sweethearts are tired and brothers are out watching gang members fight with his new found Justice Dorks of America, you sit alone and watch movies. Then you make sandwiches. Then you look up porn.
And as a straight male all alone on those nights you ask yourself this question.
"Am I attracted to transsexuals?"
"I am attracted to pretty girls. I am not attracted to pretty boys. But what if a pretty boy became a pretty girl? Would that be passable prom date material for me?"
Then you take to the internet. How these questions were answered pre-internet explosion I do not know.
Come to find out, a lot of transsexuals are Brazillian. Or so they say. If they are telling the truth someone should really look up why so many pretty boys in Brazil have forgone soccer for transsexual porn.
"Welcome to Brazil. If you have a penis you can stuff it into soccer shorts or a thong."
But all transsexuals have gone for that skanky "I just got back from Myrtle Beach and got hair braids" look. I don't like that look and so I decided that I wasn't attracted to transsexuals.
I don't know if they have any Catholic school girl transsexuals (I'm sure some preist would know) or Lauren Ambrose or Kirstie Alley chicks with dicks. Those might do it. Well, at least until they took their thongs off. Not so sure I could swing that bat.
Sweet dreams about that, dorks.
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