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9/25/2003

I have a great fucking idea, my cute dorktits. We will take down the internet.
Or at least part of it.
For this to succeed you each need two things.
1.) Consciousnes
and ...
2.) At least one friend
And some of the dorks start crying ....
When you see a pop-up when visiting the website, remember what the advertisement was for and don't buy any of that product that day.
For example, I just saw a pop-up for Orbitz, which I think is a fun hip-time drink that kids put vodka in. Well, I'm not going to buy some on purpose today. I wouldn't have bought any anyways, but imagine if this thing catches on and all of a sudden Orbitz has a zero profit day. And then they ask why. And then Chet tells them "Dorksdontrock.com told people to do something to fuck with the man that wouldn't be obnoxious or require any effort and goddammit it worked!". And then I get to be on the Today Show. Fuck yeah, let's do it!
The B-Man motto: The easiest thing in the world to do is to not do something.
It's reverse advertising and I really want this to work. Please, please tell a friend about my idea. We would be going against years of brainwashing from Mad Ave. and show those corporate advertising fucks (who I would like to work for one day if the pirate or forest ranger things don't pan out) who's the thinking man. Rage against the Orbitz, dorks. Don't not go gently into that convenience store. Rage, rage against the lying and the hype.
Dorkus Thomas, suck it.
Did anyone else besides the better half of the Lovely Couple notice that my archives have disapeared? Part of me has died and that's why I kind of have been taking a break from doing this silly typing with my fingers.
B:Are you going to see James Taylor?
N.I.D. Girl: Maybe, I don't have anyone to go with me. Me is in reference to the person right in front of you. You is in reference to the body you are living in and the soul that floats in your heart. Angels put your soul there when you are a babity wabity scoobity doo!
B: I'll go with you if you can't find anyone.
So, I might be going on a little pseudo-date with the N.I.D.
There will be no tongues and I declare it! I get enough sugar from R. Girl. And the good kind of sugar, not that brown cane shit that hippies and yuppies with no tongues put in their ass coffee.
Speaking of which, my new favorite thing to do is waking up early when R. Girl spends the night and getting my showering and dressing done quickly and then jumping back into bed for about 5 minutes. Sweet red-hair-in-my-face bliss, it is nice.
Today I play frisbee golf and then pornography.
Tickle me pink, dorks, and do my bidding.
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