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8/31/2003

There's a nice cool breeze blowing out the remains of a perfect Seattle day.
Friday night (in between drunk blogging): Kyle had a dorkfest over here. These are the kind of dorks I like though. They drink beer and when I say things like "I hope South Carolina kicks ass tomorrow!" they nod their heads and pretend to care.
We have discovered another thing that I do great with a few beers in me ... Soul Caliber 2. It's this game that Kyle bought a few days ago and these dorks were going ape shit over on Friday. After an hour or so of feeble attempts to get them to wrestle me ("C'mon I'm the DorkKrusher, Bring it On!") I decided to give their game a whirl. I kicked their ass so hard and began to realize that I had played the first game in between drinking and class when I was a sophomore ("C'mon, professor, I'm the ProfKrusher, Bring It On!"). That was fun and then I passed out.
Saturday morning I woke up late and in a non-showered sweaty hurry to find a present for Great Cousin because the Lovely Couple was throwing a b-day party for her that afternoon. Kyle had come down with my cold and since I was hungover on top of that we bickered through every store that we were in.
"Dammit, dude, she doesn't read comic books!"
"Dude, I'm going to smack you. Shut up and get the hell away from the video games. We're on a mission!"
"No, Mom loves ME more. She told me so ... wait, what about balloons?"
So, we ended up getting a lovely arrangement of balloons. In the center of the arrangement was a Harry Potter balloon b/c Great Cousin loves Harry Potter.
Here's how Kyle fucked that up.
After getting together with Ramone's Girl (yes, this would be the day she would meet the family beyond the dorky blonde version of me) we decided to head over to the Lovely Couples for some par-taying.
"Dude, are you sure you want to take the balloons in a convertible?"
"Brent, look, it's only a 3 block drive. Nothings going to happen to them."
"Allright, but I'm following behind you to make sure."
"Whatever, Brent, you know, sometimes ...."
"Blow me."
End of conversation. So, me and R. Girl are following behind King Dork when not 30 seconds into the drive (but they were a fun 30 seconds of watching the balloons hit his face repeatedly) the fucking balloons fly out the back of his car and almost hit my truck. They land behind me and in the center of the road. The people behind us are verring and swerving to avoid the balloon baracade. After a few minutes of pure Stoogian comedy we get the balloons back from a car full of girls who I'm sure Kyle hit on in the process. "So, you hang out on the side of this busy road often?"
To cut the story short 30 more seconds into the ride the Harry Potter balloon sails off behind the car and was never heard from again.
The party was great. The Lovely Couple knows so many interesting people and it's always fun to sit around and have conversation time with them. Ten minutes after being there I had forgotten that I was missing College Football kick-off Day. Later on in the day we played a couple rounds of Bocce Ball. It was boys v. girls (finally score 1-1). R. Girl turned out to be a natural ass kicker at Bocce and became the ringer for the girls side. I, on the other hand, was quickly labeled as the not-good player for the guys. You know you're not doing good when your own team laughs when the other team says "Oh, too bad you suck, Brent".
A great day nonetheless, and everyone liked Ramones Sweety. I was nervous about the whole meeting, to be honest. I don't know why, I guess I'm just used to friends and family saying things about other girls I've known like, "Umm, does she abuse cocaine?" "Oh, yeah, she seems nice ... for a retard" or "Brent, that's obviously a man." And, you know what, deep down I knew Suzzie-Carl was a man.
It was an early night for all. I decided to pass up on earlier promises to "Get ripped and kick a little ass". R. Girl started having girl problems and the night was kept quiet and full of "Your cute" and "Do you want me to rub your back?".
Today I slept in until noon and skipped showering. I love being a man on Labor Day weekend.
After meeting R. Girl's parents and aunt in a rushed attempt to get medicine for girl problems, we went downtown. We wanted to find a couple of statues.
The first was the one of the dog with the face of the man that had sold us firewood last week. We found it, but the mystery of whether it was the guy is still afoot.
The next was a quick stop off at the Troll under the Fremont Bridge. This thing is a huge concrete fuckbeast of an artpiece. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/WASEAtroll.html Check it out here. It can descibe better and with more sober brevity than I.
That was about it, you perverts.
I'm tired of writing now. It feels like work and this is my labor day weekend. I'm going to get ripped and watch "Road Warrior" and "Animal House".
You are all so fucking cute, ya dorks.
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