I have a theroy. Men with goatees don't know elevator manners. Today I saw two men, both with goatees, walk onto an elevator before the people already on the elevator walked off. It's like they forgot the golden rule of elevators, "Don't walk before others as you wouldn't have others step in front of you".
Maybe the goatee is evolution's anit-elevator sign post. Maybe the men were just evil versions of themselves.
On to real news. I have succeeded in losing a job before I even started working at it.
I had landed a well-paying gig at a certain place doing things. It wasn't glamorous, but the benefits would allow for anti-depressants and cooler eyeglasses. Well, I forgot to put on my application that I was arrested when I was a sophomore in college.
Here's the story for the 4 people who don't know it: I was the social chair of my fraternity one year. I was in charge of planning the annual orgy known as Carolina Cup (for those not from S.C., think of it as a Renior painting with Busch Light and less posture). It was the end of the day and the pigs were on the prowl (power to the frat boys!). I got into a fight with these two dudes from another frat about the property rights of a 3 foot sub sandwich. In the end I offered that they take the sandwich ... UP THE ASS! As I went to throw the deli monstrosity at them Dan Marino-style I was tackled from behind by 3 cops. I thought I was getting jumped by the other frat and fought back. So, more cops jumped on me and eventually the battle of Subway was over. It took 6 cops to bring this hoagie fuck down, baby!
Back to present day. I forgot to mention this on my application. So, when they did my background check this old charge came up. They were forced to take back their offer, which made me upset for a while. Now I'm hoping the temp. company I'm with will let me stay on with them. Will Brent be umemployed as of Monday? Stay tuned.
Today I've got that awkward confidence I always put on when I'm unsure of the future. I think I'll go play frisbee golf (game steadily improving. driving is stronger, mid range sweet, putts oh-so-close) after work. Then a sandwich and then Coors Light. Perfect plan.
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